Two women, Frida Kahlo
long wanted to be like Candida. I admired his patience, his optimism, his deep and balanced way of living, your unconditional support to others and his spirit always hungry for knowledge, never bored or sick of the world.
All times were few to be dedicated to be in their company and marvel at his pleasant conversation, in which there were always words of encouragement and that it followed a deep love of life in all its manifestations .
If you were happy or depressed, if I was sad or elated, went to her. Any state of feeling was able to host. If he were limp, I watered and fertilized with very powerful. Happy if he came, so great is the interior that is a depth that became sublime. If you arrive with the indifference of one who is not surprised because he has lost the child who hides, became her girl to get back to my childhood, but childhood mature and full of meaning and gratitude.
He once remarked:
"I like to live differently, to travel, especially travel ... In travel, meet people, you learn things, and time moves one transcurre sin que se advierta su paso agresor.
–No está mal viajar –me respondió con dulzura–, pero un ansia descontrolada de hacer viajes sólo demuestra que existe algo en el interior de uno que no funciona como debiera. Es evidente el deseo de alejarse de todo lo que nos conforma la vida. A veces, es una cuestión externa a nosotros mismos, pero otras, las más peligrosas, es interna: deseamos alejarnos de nuestro interior y no del entorno que nos rodea, eludir el conflicto con un viaje que no va a solucionar nada.
–Pero un viaje siempre añade nuevas perspectivas y, sobre todo, enriquece –repuse.
"Yes, it is possible, but it is also true that, through him, we left the essential problem, we fled. And the solution must be internal and not external. Is not on the outside as inside us do not want. The most exciting journey of self-knowledge is.
I decided to make the trip to which Candida concerned and found many things worthy of mention, as it was full of emptiness, a nothingness moldable and anguish that I imposed on the most joyous occasions. I did not enjoy the moment and enjoying my own attendance. There will be people who enjoy themselves, but it was not my case.
I went back to Candida and told him that only the inner journey of unease I had settled, I could not be alone with myself, I was terrified. I also told him that he needed another, and especially to her.
I replied with words that flooded me panic. So gloomy, whispered that the whole world was going to her for peace, and she could not find peace in one, that all we went to expose our problems and feel under their auspices and protection, and she also had problems and nobody help had happened, we got to absorb it all and no one to notice, that all he talked about friendship y ella se había cansado de esa palabra que sólo le suponía exprimirse en cuencos que no la respetaban, sino que la sorbían hasta dejarla seca y sin jugo, para largarse luego de su vida con la misma impunidad con la que habían llegado.
–No venís a mí porque me queráis, sino porque deseáis la cataplasma para vuestra herida, la muleta para vuestra cojera, las gafas para vuestros ojos... Y estoy cansada. No os dais cuenta de cómo me duele vuestra desaparición de mi vida cuando habéis solucionado vuestras cuitas. Me he hartado de los amigos, de los que así se llaman a sí mismos. No deseo más, no os conozco. O mejor: no me conocéis. Suponed que he partido travel a long journey. Dear you do not know what my whereabouts and when come back, "he concluded.
"And that journey, is to yourself, Candida?
-Can ... I have to rebuild so many things that have destroyed ...
I left without informing the decision just to make: make that trip with her intended. The trouble is that now, as a result of it, I've absorbed, I'm her, I am Candida and, of course, no wish to return to frequent. How would you justify the dispossession that I have done to your identity?
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Dear friends, I leave this story for a while. I have a long journey very appetizing. That's right: it is a journey to specific locations and certain it has nothing to do with domestic travel or initiation. See you around. Thousands of kisses.
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