EDURNE: CHRONOLOGY OF HOMELESSNESS Vista aérea de San Sebastián
(Imagen tomada de internet)
Me despertó con su voz chillona. Descorrí las cortinas y los cristales adoptaron un matiz grisáceo, fantasmagórico: apenas había amanecido. Más allá of them and their cold wet, I saw the shadows, also gray, but heavy and solid-buildings across the street. It was eight o'clock.
still half asleep, I looked at Edurne. He went from here to there. Put the finishing touches on luggage.
"You're going to cool the coffee," he said.
In the kitchen, the day grew like a ghost stretches. I watched the invasion of light in the last possessions of the gloom within a few minutes, clearly raised like a horse gallop from the bowels of the earth to the sky innermost cache. It was eight and twenty.
Edurne begged me to hurry.
In the shower, thought I was about to do something stupid, but I countered: "So to make a precise stupidity is wisdom." But go with Edurne wisdom was traveling when she was tired of her and her rampage, when all I wanted was to end the relationship unilaterally vampire?
As I dressed, I decided no getting around the issue. I know what to say when he thought fit Edurne, perhaps in San Sebastian.
At nine o'clock, got in the car. At quarter past nine, we went to Madrid.
I stretched my legs and sighed. Edurne smiled. The sun warmed my right arm. It was a good day. If not spoiled by the North ... Cautious, we had umbrellas. In the peaks of the distant mountains, the snow was kept as a white hat and ice cream. The people of the valleys were as-white flecks scattered in the distance. On mornings like this, always concluded that the universe seemed to have an order, an inner beauty, harmony inviolable.
A ten-ten, we stopped to put gas in Somosierra. We take and take a coffee with milk.
- Want to drive? Edurne he asked.
I said no. In the end, was glad. She likes to drive and his offer was nothing more than a mere courtesy.
"Let well. With a little luck, we eat in Donostia.
nodded. She likes to set goals and objectives, feeling victorious with everyday challenges.
A ten-thirty, we left Somosierra. In less than five minutes entramos en la provincia de Segovia.
–¡Segovia! –suspiró Edurne.
–Sí, Segovia. –concedí con indolencia.
En Segovia nos conocimos Edurne y yo. Fue durante el verano pasado, en un fin de semana luminoso y pletórico. Las dos habíamos huido de Madrid y de sus ajetreos. Después de coger una habitación en el hostal de siempre, muy cercano a la Plaza Mayor, salí a pasear. Iba por el Azoguejo cuando tropecé con ella. Me excusé mientras ella reía y le quitaba importancia al percance. A continuación, seguimos cada una por nuestro camino. Al rato, entré a comer en un célebre restaurante de la calle Real. Al fondo del comedor, vi a Edurne, sola. Me hizo una seña y me acerqué con paso tímido. No tuve ningún reparo en compartir con ella la mesa y la comida. Sin saber cómo, salimos del restaurante nimbadas con una halo de complicidad. Nos acercamos hasta su hotel y zanjó su cuenta. Se venía a dormir a mi hostal, mucho más económico y, aunque sin lujos, limpio y alegre, sin nada que envidiarle a otros lugares con más estrellas en la hostelería. Un poco más tarde, le enseñé Segovia hasta extenuarla. Era la primera vez que visitaba esa hermosa ciudad castellana. Sobre todo, recuerdo el tranquilo atardecer en la Alameda, las campanas del Monasterio del Parral y St. Stephen's Tower in the poplars shaped like a lighthouse late Romanesque.
was the next day when Edurne told me about his life, his absolute solitude, the disappearance of his family from his exile in Madrid and his lifelong yearning for San Sebastian, the Donostia. On Sunday evening returned with me to Madrid. She had come to Segovia by train and offered to return to my vehicle, he accepted with undisguised joy.
continue seeing, always at his request, and within days, he moved with his stuff to my house. "So avoid paying double rent," he said. But no longer paid twice, but an inestimable amount in that was not subject to review, I was. I paid the price for breaking my privacy. From little I used to beg him to Edurne a glimmer of solitude, a few crumbs of silence. She talked and talked, to the point that in some moments I thought that I was confused with a psychoanalyst.
At eleven and five, entered the province of Burgos. Edurne asked if I wanted to deviate from Aranda de Duero. I told him that for me, it was not necessary.
"It's a beautiful day," agreed smiling.
–Sí.
–Vas muy callada.
–Pienso.
–¿En qué?
–No..., no es exacto. No pienso. Miro el paisaje.
–Para lo bonito aún queda. Ya verás, ya verás que el Norte es otra cosa.
Sonrió feliz. Estaba resplandeciente: iba a su tierra e iba conmigo. La notaba ansiosa por enseñarme su mar, sus montañas, sus rincones.
–Y la luz, no puedo olvidarme de decirte que te fijes en la luz –siguió–. No existe otra que la iguale.
Pensaba en la pretendida soledad de Edurne. Se proclamaba sola, pero creo que nunca lo ha estado, al menos del modo en que yo estoy sola: en medio de todos, la soledad como una isla, como un lenguaje no entendido y que cada cual interpreta según sus intereses o aspiraciones. Aspiraciones... La manía de tener aspiraciones con los demás. Un modo de cumplirse en un espejo. Te hacen y no consienten en admitirte tal cual eres, sino como ellos te ven.
–Burgos –anunció Edurne.
–Sí, Burgos –corroboré.
Eran las doce. No se desviaba por Burgos, como hubiera sido mi deseo. Estaba ansiosa por llegar a su tierra y ya ni me preguntaba. Aceleró con ganas.
–Así da gusto, ¿no te parece? Nada hay mejor que las autopistas.
–Claro.
Íbamos por la autopista, en dirección a Vitoria y Bilbao. Nada mejor que una autopista para comprobar cómo se desvanece el tiempo y cómo éste desvanece los paisajes inamovibles.
–¿Vas bien? –me preguntó afirmando.
–Sí.
Y aunque fuera mal... No, con sus decisiones no se podían gastar bromas y, menos aún, contradecirlas. Distinto, muy distinto es que ella no pidiera mi opinión. Se supone que o no la tenía o era la suya. Algo tarde iba a averiguar que yo era libre, que podía poner fin a una relación que me parecía absurda y unilateral. ¿Relación? ¿Acaso nuestra pretendida amistad admitía el nombre de relación?
El cielo se nubló íntegramente conforme engullíamos kilómetros. Las montañas se alzaban a nuestro alrededor como sombras al acecho.
–Provincia de Álava. Ciento sesenta y un kilómetros Donostia. Well! Yelled full of euphoria.
At 0:40, we left the highway. Then, everything was green. The mountains with peaks ranging ghostly, full of fog.
At 0:50, we come in Victoria. I did not mind stretching your legs, so I said:
- We stopped for a drink?
- Bah! In the second we arrived at San Sebastian.
was useless, useless to remind him his despotism. Could test the game and yes orphan I was not willing to take it any longer. The little game of helplessness, with mournful eyes and trembling voice ... What a way to deal with misfortune! And often those who do trickery. They take advantage of the noble sentiments of others. It is shameful to see how you come away with pretending that weak and disadvantaged.
"You see, the landscape is quite different from the center," he announced proudly.
were crossing a valley full of greenery, with villages scattered as gray clouds. The mountains were high, with a halo of mist almost to the bottom of the skirt. Still covered.
"It's beautiful," I noted.
"This is a world apart.
Apart ... Everything was beyond him ... and better. It closed at the touch of other worlds, other beings. She and the rest. She was separate. Apart from others, with their silly foibles of emotion, with their feigned enjoyment. She was apart because they felt this was not living, not hooked any feeling or any human knowledge.
drizzle was falling. We drove down the mountains with trees thin and dry (do not know the name of the same, in the cities we lose nombres de la naturaleza).
–¡Guipúzcoa! –entonó Edurne a la una y treinta y dos minutos–. ¡Guipúzcoa! –repitió.
–Sí, mujer, ya.
–El río Oria. ¿Tienes hambre?
–Sí –respondí.
–Ya verás lo que es comer en mi tierra. Una delicia, ya lo verás.
Los pueblos se sucedieron, apenas separados entre sí, por la cuenca del río Oria. Pueblos industriales que siempre asociaré con fog and humidity, with the green hills of home guards.
A quarter past two we entered San Sebastian.
- Finally! Finally! Edurne cried.
parked very close to La Concha and, out of the car, I told Edurne:
"And now, every one by his side. Do not stand another minute, do you hear?
I looked confused, as if it were subject to misunderstanding.
"Do not look. I no longer soft. Give me the keys to my car and get lost. Find someone to stun your inconsistency.
"Please ...
- That outta once! Now, remove your things from my car!
Edurne picked up his suitcase and left without saying a word.
I spent the weekend alone, walking and admiring the beauty of San Sebastian. I thought I would not mind living in a city so completely, with its mountains, with its sea, with its island, with its river, with its wide avenues, with its charming old quarter, with its bay as the dispenser of pleasure. When he arrived on Sunday night, I felt early nostalgia for leaving all the beauty landscape that had fed my spirit and calmed my spirits.
Camino de Madrid, Edurne remembered me, his love for San Sebastian. I felt something akin to nostalgia. I doubted my decision on cutting it. Edurne was that paradise was the life he could not be so poisoned.
